Heartbreak Warfare
by Imagination-On-The-Loose
Summary: It had taken awhile for them to become an us, but it was well worth the wait. Nicole/Antonio. Read, Review, and Enjoy.


_I'm super excited. I feel like I've now been accepted into the Missing writers family. WhooHoo. I have to again thank BlindLoveFreeSpirit. You know that you have not only been an inspiration but a friend. To all the people out there who have hundreds of stories running around in your head, but for whatever reason haven't put them down on paper. Two words: do it. When you have a little faith in yourself you never know what you can do. Alrightie….go ahead read and enjoy._

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_Lightning strikes  
Inside, my chest to keep me up at night  
Dream of ways  
To make you understand my pain_

He was a patient man, but more than that he loved her. He was beginning to believe that he loved her so much that it was hazardous to his health. He loved the warmth she provided at night when they were each other's shelter from the rest of the world. He loved kissing her and letting his kisses linger on her body. He loved the way his hands flowed over her body as he caressed it. The way his hands mimicked her curves, with all her beautiful dips, valleys and mountains. He loved waking up in the morning to find her arm lazily slung over his waist. He loved getting out of bed in the morning and taking a peek at her in the shower and hearing her tell him to take a hike. He loved watching her get dressed for work in a rush and purposely delaying her with that tempting touch and making them both late. He loved the secret looks she gave him at work that told him she'd rather be doing something else. He loved how just one whiff of her perfume stayed with him all day and refused to let him forget her. He loved that after a hard day's work, while sipping wine together she would lightly brush her fingers in lazy circles over his arm. He loved that her touches made him weak and set fire to places only she could reach. He loved all that she gave him of herself. He loved her and he couldn't help but want more. He was a patient man, but he loved her more.

_Clouds of sulfur in the air  
Bombs are falling everywhere  
It's heartbreak warfare  
Once you want it to begin,  
No one really ever wins  
In heartbreak warfare_

She knew she needed to change. She'd even told him herself wanted to change. She wanted to feel like she deserved him. She wanted to stop feeling like she had to earn his unconditional love. She wanted to be able to sit and think about what their future would be like instead of worrying there would come a time when she would flake out. She wanted the past to always be there, but not consistently in her present. She wanted to be able to lay her heart on the line for him whether it scare her or not. She wanted to fight her demons, so that together, he and she could bask in the glory of angels. She wanted to be able to give him his dreams. The dreams where they were a family together. She wanted to be secure in the fact that she wouldn't cause him any pain or hurt. She wanted to guarantee him equally unconditional love. She wanted to be whole and complete. She wanted to not be afraid of the fact that she needed him to be whole and that only he could fulfill her. She wanted to be able to see needing someone not as a weakness in her defense, but as strength in her being. She wanted to know that her childhood horrors wouldn't prevail and seep into that of her own children. She wanted to be able to believe she could be a good mother and through motherhood rewrite history. She wanted to know that whether she is at her weakest or strongest point he was always ready to do battle for her. She wanted to know that she had a safe haven to cry whether it be one tear or a thousand. She wanted to know that it didn't change who she was to want these things. She wanted to know that he wouldn't look at her any less for what he called being human. She wanted to remain being the rock everybody leaned on, but wondered who would be her support. She knew the answers to her questions and had known them for a long time. She just wasn't sure if she was ready to admit them or not. Either way there was going to come a day when she would have to change or risk losing it all. She knew she needed to change. She'd even told him herself she wanted to change.

_If you want more love,  
why don't you say so?  
If you want more love,  
why don't you say so?_

He was willing to give her his heart even when she said she wasn't ready for it. In fact his heart already considered itself her property. He knew with passion she would protect his heart and dodged bullets for it constantly. He wanted her to know she was more than deserving of his love. He didn't understand why she didn't see what he saw in her. When he looked into her eyes he saw fire. A fire that could set the world ablaze in seconds and consume it even faster. He saw in that fire the drive that pushed her past the limit most people stopped at, because it was where she felt most comfortable. He saw in her eyes the longing for stability, which she never had, but if got would fight until subdued. He saw in her posture a rare mixture of rebelliousness and proudness. He saw strength in the way she carried herself. He saw determination in the height of her shoulders and display of her chest. He saw knowledge in her gesture coupled with understanding. He saw forever the setness of her jaw and the clocking of her glock. He saw beauty in all that was her and meaning in all her essence, because all this made her special to him. He was willing to give her his heart even when she said she wasn't ready for it.

_Drop his name  
Push it in and twist the knife again  
Watch my face  
As I pretend to feel no pain_

She would protect him and his heart if it took the very last breathe she had. She learned through his subtle ways that there was no turning back for him. He was head over hills in love with her and there was nothing she could do. But then again why would she when she felt the same way. She found herself coming to this realization at the smallest moments. When she was on stakeouts she spent half her time wondering what he was doing and the other half thinking of things they could be doing together. She would spend her down time at home after a big case thinking about how supportive he'd been through the whole thing. From the placement of his hand on her lower back to a simple brush of her arm she always knew he was there. She could see in his eyes redemption of all her past transgressions and even ones to come. She saw him calling out to her letting her know that the water was fine. Through his strong grip she felt the strength of the safety net he represented. In his kiss she could taste his satisfaction and his joy of just being with her. In the way he let his fingers roam her body while they lay idly in bed let her know that she would never cease to amaze him or hold his attention captive. Through all this he gave her more than she could ever ask for, because of this he owned her heart even if she wouldn't admit it. In turn she would protect him and his heart if it took the very last breath she had.

_Clouds of sulfur in the air  
Bombs are falling everywhere  
It's heartbreak warfare  
Once you want it to begin,  
No one really ever wins  
In heartbreak warfare._

_If you want more love,  
why don't you say so?  
If you want more love,  
why don't you say so?_

Just say so...

It had taken awhile, but they finally reached a point where they became one. It had always been He or She, She then He, but never them. They both liked that now together their burdens were shortened and whatever was left was carried off by love. Granted their love wasn't of the fairy tale nature where the two lovers always knew they would be together. To expect that from them is to not know them at all. No their relationship had been a struggle, a fight to the finish, and a test of wills. The struggle though made it all the more sweeter to them. It added a worthwhile to they're already worthwhile. They loved how they flowed so natural with each other. They could sit together for hours talking or in complete silence and the content and comfort levels would be the same. They liked that it was a granted that they would be there for each other without wondering if they were over stepping the friends' boundary. They love being a "them" because it meant security, but they knew it came with a price. It had taken awhile, but they had finally reached a point where they became one.

_How come the only way to know how high you get me  
is to see how far I fall  
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me  
but I can't break through at all._

It's heartbreak...

I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight  
Let's just fix this whole thing now  
I swear to God we're gonna get it right  
If you lay your weapon down  
Red wine and ambien  
You're talking sh** again, it's heartbreak warfare  
Good to know it's all a game  
Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak.

No matter what they did they would always be a part of each other. They were held together by something stronger than just the title of a couple. What held them together is indescribable and beyond reach. It was something that made them gravitate to each. That made their hearts call out to each other. Something that could pull them from the corners of the Earth and send them colliding in the middle. Their lives like their hearts no longer belonged to themselves, but to each other. They flowed together like a well oiled machine. A loss to one was a loss to the other. It only made sense that they were together. No one else in the world would complete them like they did each other. No matter what they did they would always be a part of each other.

_It's heartbreak warfare._

_Hope you enjoyed. I put my blood, sweat and tears into this story!!! Okay so maybe not all that….but it still it took an effort. Let me know what you think. I appreciate all reviews even if you didn't like it. The only way to get better is to find out what you're doing wrong, right?_


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